It has been a strange couple of weeks since my last post. We've had Christmas, for one. Normally this is a time for celebration and togetherness, but this year I've felt very un-together. My brothers both live in Southampton, but one doesn't drive so it's hard to get them over here at the same time when there is no public transport. We saw them on Christmas Eve but there is nothing that beats a proper Christmas Day celebration. I am always left with feelings of guilt; could I have collected them all and brought them to mum's, should I have put aside my own wishes for a family day at home to go over there? In the end though, I know I have to do what is right for us, so Scott, Flo and I had our Christmas morning sauna and brunch followed by present unwrapping and then roast duck for lunch. I was feeling pretty lousy already with a cold, but the sauna seemed to help.
In the evening we walked to mum's with all our presents (I live just a couple of miles from my mum, so we get to drink too!). We arrived to find a rather somber room full of people not watching the carol concert on the tele. My gran was in a foul (and still unexplained) mood, and my dad was doing his best to wind everyone up. Flo and Izzy, my niece, soon livened things up, but I was very conscious of a worsening cold. In hindsight we should probably have stayed at home to avoid spreading our bugs to the family, but I had to weigh up the guilt of not going and the guilt of sharing my cold. Neither option was particularly appealing.
After much gift sharing, food scoffing and whiskey Mack guzzling, we made our merry way home with flo asleep in her pushchair. We've since had a sickness bug which affected just Flo and my dad (who is never sick) and the cold has progressed to my lungs as well as to my grandparents (which is the LAST thing I would have wanted). So the days between Christmas and new year have been fraught with guilt. I had to go to work on the Thursday Friday and Saturday as I am not yet entitled to sick pay, so I dragged myself in each day.
Work definitely warrants a mention in this review of 2012. I began the year having worked yet another Christmas in retail at M&S and was determined to change things before another Christmas hit us, so I applied for all sorts of non-retail jobs, particularly accountancy and bookkeeping ones. I wasn't contacted by a single employer until I finally bit the bullet and applied to a banking group. I had never considered a career in banking having worked at Skandia in the past, but having sailed through the online selection process I found myself with the prospect of working for a bank! Not only were they happy to take me on part time, but they also impressed upon me the chance of progression, even at part time hours.
Just what I needed after a career in which I'd been under constant scrutiny, constantly questioning my own ability and dreading the next surprise inspection. Teaching was not a career I could return to without some serious adjustments to my self-confidence and my work-life balance. And so here I am, a customer adviser for one of the country's biggest banking groups, thoroughly enjoying my job, getting on well with my colleagues and feeling like I can genuinely help people with their financial problems.
For so many of my friends 2012 has been an atrocious year, and yet I find myself looking back and thinking, wow! That was awesome! We have had our share of bad years, and have been through all kinds of financial difficulties, but this year we really got our shit together. I have been doing Scott's accounts for a few years now, and feel a bit like Yoko Ono at times when I try to control the artistic side of what he does too, but anyone who has seen his work progress this year will understand just how talented he is and how very proud I am to call him my husband. He has been published in lots of magazines this year, and is even being paid by some of them. He has worked with some incredible models and performers, and is more in demand than we could ever have anticipated. Hopefully with my support he can continue to expand his portfolio of clients and we'll start to see some real returns for his time and talent. So yes, 2012 has been really good for us, but there is no reason that 2013 can't be even better. In fact, I intend to do everything in my power to see that it is!
Monday 31 December 2012
Thursday 20 December 2012
A review at the end of the year.
So here it is, the final weigh in of 2012.
2012 was a year in which I saw myself gradually eat my way into a size 18-20 in clothes, fairly unnoticeably. Yes, my clothes were no longer fitting, yes buttons were popping open on tops and blouses, and yes, a colleague kindly pointed out (in my previous job) that I needed to go up a size. The thing is, I didn't FEEL any different - that's the trouble with gradual weight gain - you don't realise the tiny changes that are building up.
In July I went on holiday to Cornwall - one of my favourite places, and somewhere I've always felt comfortable. I had a great time, don't get me wrong. It's just... the photos... When Scott uploaded the photos there were so many of me looking really solid around the middle, making me look OLD and just not looking like me. You'll notice that the photos I've tended to put up are of me from the shoulders up.
Goodwood in September was another time when I saw photos and thought, "I don't want to be like that anymore"... By this point I had already begun my weightwatchers journey, so I knew I was headed in the right direction, but any kind of "goal" seemed a long way off.
At the weekend, Scott, Flo and I went to London for the day - a very rare family day away from home. We did a few touristy bits (Natural History Museum, Hamleys, Carnaby Street) and took Flo on the underground for the first time (well, the second, but she was too tiny to remember the first). it was great to have the time out. I wore heeled boots all day, carried bags and toddlers and had lots of photos taken, and, wait for it, I FELT GREAT! I was wearing my slimmer size 14 jeans, my size 14 coat, and felt like I deserved to wear them. (You know how sometimes you can sneak into a smaller size due to the brand being over-generous, the stretch being more than adequate, or the cut being slightly irregular, but never actually feel like that's your size...)
The day after London I was poorly, but I recovered within 48 hours to be back full of energy and enthusiasm. My eating habits have changed, so my energy levels have improved, and my overall fitness is on the up. Walking is about all the exercise I'm doing at the moment, but I'll be cycling in the spring, so perhaps 2013 will be even better. Work is going great, Flo is flourishing at preschool, and Scott's photography business is coming on in leaps and bounds. Oh, and I lost another pound this week, taking me to 12st12lb - a total weight loss of 1st 12lb. Nearly 2stone!!!
Merry Christmas everyone! See you on the other side!
2012 was a year in which I saw myself gradually eat my way into a size 18-20 in clothes, fairly unnoticeably. Yes, my clothes were no longer fitting, yes buttons were popping open on tops and blouses, and yes, a colleague kindly pointed out (in my previous job) that I needed to go up a size. The thing is, I didn't FEEL any different - that's the trouble with gradual weight gain - you don't realise the tiny changes that are building up.
In July I went on holiday to Cornwall - one of my favourite places, and somewhere I've always felt comfortable. I had a great time, don't get me wrong. It's just... the photos... When Scott uploaded the photos there were so many of me looking really solid around the middle, making me look OLD and just not looking like me. You'll notice that the photos I've tended to put up are of me from the shoulders up.
Goodwood in September was another time when I saw photos and thought, "I don't want to be like that anymore"... By this point I had already begun my weightwatchers journey, so I knew I was headed in the right direction, but any kind of "goal" seemed a long way off.
At the weekend, Scott, Flo and I went to London for the day - a very rare family day away from home. We did a few touristy bits (Natural History Museum, Hamleys, Carnaby Street) and took Flo on the underground for the first time (well, the second, but she was too tiny to remember the first). it was great to have the time out. I wore heeled boots all day, carried bags and toddlers and had lots of photos taken, and, wait for it, I FELT GREAT! I was wearing my slimmer size 14 jeans, my size 14 coat, and felt like I deserved to wear them. (You know how sometimes you can sneak into a smaller size due to the brand being over-generous, the stretch being more than adequate, or the cut being slightly irregular, but never actually feel like that's your size...)
The day after London I was poorly, but I recovered within 48 hours to be back full of energy and enthusiasm. My eating habits have changed, so my energy levels have improved, and my overall fitness is on the up. Walking is about all the exercise I'm doing at the moment, but I'll be cycling in the spring, so perhaps 2013 will be even better. Work is going great, Flo is flourishing at preschool, and Scott's photography business is coming on in leaps and bounds. Oh, and I lost another pound this week, taking me to 12st12lb - a total weight loss of 1st 12lb. Nearly 2stone!!!
Merry Christmas everyone! See you on the other side!
Wednesday 12 December 2012
No longer a baker's dozen!
It has been a week of "being good" food-wise. I've had the odd chocolate, the odd *cough* Toby Carvery, a teeny tiny takeaway and, oh yeah, a complete Finnish Christmas dinner! For the uninitiated, a Finnish Christmas dinner is a joy to behold, and a joy to consume - we had Christmas ham, herrings, smoked salmon, potato bake, swede bake, carrot bake, red cabbage, *covers Flo's ears* reindeer, mushroom pie, mushroom salad, beetroot and apple salad and COPIOUS amounts of red wine.
Throughout my time with Weightwatchers I've not felt like I was on a diet. I've cut down on the alcohol, stopped buying daily chocolate bars, stopped sitting with a bowl of kettle chips whilst watching a film, and just thought a little more about the choices I make on an hour-to-hour, day-to-day basis. I don't feel deprived, I don't stand out like a sore thumb when eating with friends and family (ie I don't have a huge plate of salad when I eat out) and I still keep losing weight. It really goes to show how just a few small changes can make all the difference.
Would I like to sit eating a big bar of Dairy Milk? Yes! Would I enjoy it at the time? Undoubtedly! Would I beat myself up afterwards for wasting a week's worth of bonus points on a moment of idiocy? Damn right! I know I can have a small amount of chocolate, enjoy it, and then carry on with my day guilt-free. Feeling guilty about food is so unhealthy, as you inevitably start to either resent the diet, resent the forbidden food, or worse, resent the people around you who are, perhaps unwittingly, tempting you to eat. Nobody forces me to eat chocolate, crisps or KFC - I choose to. I know I can balance my diet by easing off in other areas. That's just how it works for me.
So, here's the great bit of news for this week - I've lost 2.5lb this week, which brings my weight down to 12st 13lb - yes, that's right! I'm under 13stone! This was my goal by Christmas, so I feel I've really achieved something this week. My total weightloss is now 25lb (in-meeting is 22.5lb) which is the most I've ever lost with Weightwatchers. Before I got married I lost 21lb but that took me down to 10st 2lb and a size 12. This time I'm thinking I ought to aim for 11.5-12st which would be a loss of around 3stone.
Another really positive note for the week - I've bumped into a few people I know who I've not seen for a while, and they've noticed a change in me. For some it's purely a size thing, but others have noticed a greater vitality, and more of the "old" Jeanie back. This is a combination of the weight loss and my new job, both of which are giving me the confidence to face the world with a smile.
Once again, thank you all for your support and encouragement. Hopefully will have some photos for you soon x
Throughout my time with Weightwatchers I've not felt like I was on a diet. I've cut down on the alcohol, stopped buying daily chocolate bars, stopped sitting with a bowl of kettle chips whilst watching a film, and just thought a little more about the choices I make on an hour-to-hour, day-to-day basis. I don't feel deprived, I don't stand out like a sore thumb when eating with friends and family (ie I don't have a huge plate of salad when I eat out) and I still keep losing weight. It really goes to show how just a few small changes can make all the difference.
Would I like to sit eating a big bar of Dairy Milk? Yes! Would I enjoy it at the time? Undoubtedly! Would I beat myself up afterwards for wasting a week's worth of bonus points on a moment of idiocy? Damn right! I know I can have a small amount of chocolate, enjoy it, and then carry on with my day guilt-free. Feeling guilty about food is so unhealthy, as you inevitably start to either resent the diet, resent the forbidden food, or worse, resent the people around you who are, perhaps unwittingly, tempting you to eat. Nobody forces me to eat chocolate, crisps or KFC - I choose to. I know I can balance my diet by easing off in other areas. That's just how it works for me.
So, here's the great bit of news for this week - I've lost 2.5lb this week, which brings my weight down to 12st 13lb - yes, that's right! I'm under 13stone! This was my goal by Christmas, so I feel I've really achieved something this week. My total weightloss is now 25lb (in-meeting is 22.5lb) which is the most I've ever lost with Weightwatchers. Before I got married I lost 21lb but that took me down to 10st 2lb and a size 12. This time I'm thinking I ought to aim for 11.5-12st which would be a loss of around 3stone.
Another really positive note for the week - I've bumped into a few people I know who I've not seen for a while, and they've noticed a change in me. For some it's purely a size thing, but others have noticed a greater vitality, and more of the "old" Jeanie back. This is a combination of the weight loss and my new job, both of which are giving me the confidence to face the world with a smile.
Once again, thank you all for your support and encouragement. Hopefully will have some photos for you soon x
Wednesday 5 December 2012
You've got to... Accen...tuate the positive...
I'll get the negative out of the way straight off - I've put on half a pound this week (shock horror!) but I am totally putting it down to the fact that I wore jeans and hi-top trainers instead of my usual workwear to the weigh-in.
Ok. so, that aside, here are some awesome positives that are making me smile immensely this week:
Only two more weigh-ins before Christmas... Can I get to the elusive 13 stone mark? I'm certain I can, and I'll let you know next week how I get on. For now, though, I'm off to wrap some Chrimbo presents.
Ok. so, that aside, here are some awesome positives that are making me smile immensely this week:
- I bought myself my first pair of size 14 jeans since the year I got married (2000)
- The jeans fit me comfortably
- One of my friends at M&S (where I used to work) commented that the jeans I was wearing (my supposedly skinny size 16s) were too baggy on the bum and I needed some smaller ones (thank you Kait!)
- I've had a good start to my working week
- Scott is being published in no less than 4 separate magazines this month
- Flo has been given her part in the preschool nativity, as a camel (rather than Mary, as she had told us!)
Only two more weigh-ins before Christmas... Can I get to the elusive 13 stone mark? I'm certain I can, and I'll let you know next week how I get on. For now, though, I'm off to wrap some Chrimbo presents.
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