33 days, one stone lost :)

It's hard to believe I've left it so long again between posts - three weeks ago I finished the Forever Living Clean 9 cleanse. I had been drifting along oblivious to what I was consuming, and had allowed a stone to creep back on. The trouble with putting on weight is it kinda sneaks up on you. You get on the scales and think, ""ah well, it's only a few pounds." You then convince yourself that you NEEDED to put on a bit. You know, to be curvier, sexier, more "you". Then, after ignoring the scales for a few months because you know better, and subconsciously leaving the tighter-fitting clothes in the wardrobe, carry on with your life, eating takeaways, fast food, ready meals, crap, really. 

And then you take the plunge and get on the scales. The despair, shame and embarrassment when you realise that you've been lying to yourself for the past x months hits you so hard that you plummet somewhere dark for a few days. You don't want to be seen, you don't try to look good and you could allow this depression to consume you. You could. I did. For a few days/weeks. 

I am fortunate that my husband, Scott, has seen me at these moments and knows to be there for support initially, but then galvanises me into action. We saw a picture of a guy who had done the Clean9 and Scott said, "that's like me - I want to get rid of my tummy. Let's both try it!" Good call, Chalmers, as it made it less about me, more about US. 

To hear the full extent of the Clean 9 and how it worked for us, you only need to go back four blog posts. Today's post is not about that though - it's about what happened next.

Firstly, let me say that I have not had a single cup of normal tea or coffee since 3rd July. My colleagues at work will attest to the fact that I now only drink fruit teas (and I love them!) We have not had a takeaway, or fast food. We are very aware of our calorie intake because we are logging everything on My Fitness Pal, linked with Map My Run to track our activity. If we want to have a nice pudding, or a higher-calorie meal, we know we need to increase our exercise levels. We have celebrated our wedding anniversary with a meal, pudding and wine, and have continued with our normal lives but with a few slight modifications. For example, when we are at work, we both have a meal replacement shake for our lunch, and go for a half-hour brisk walk (that's around 165 calories earned each day!) 

Anyway, the point I'm making here is that I've got to my first goal today - one stone off! Today I weigh 12st 3, and the best part is I don't want to stop. Scott has lost over half a stone, and is going to the gym every week. His moobs have gone, his tummy is going, and he us achieving so much. He even enjoys going for an evening bike ride!

So, yes, something to be proud of. I'm happy that more and more size 14s are fitting me, and have cleared my wardrobe of a whole load of 16s and 18s ready for ebaying. 

Let's keep this going. More updates to come :)

Clean 9 Cleanse and beyond...

From despondency to delight in just a few days! 

In my last post I was feeling a bit lost, a bit fed up and a bit cheated. I have been back at work for three days and somehow this detox malarkey has become much easier. I had my shake for breakfast, but made double so that I could take a ready-blended one with me for lunch. I didn't feel hungry, and by lunchtime I had decided to go for a walk. 

I popped my trainers on, drank half a litre of water and headed out, up Shirley Avenue, along St James' Road, around St James' Park, then back to work through the estate. It took about 25-30 minutes and I bloody loved it. When I got back I drank my meal replacement shake and continued with my day, halo shining. 

Dinner has become much easier now that I am more comfortable with the idea of calorie counting. I have my iPad next to my scales while I cook, and have created some really delicious meals, including whole wheat pasta with chicken and broccoli in a light cheese sauce, plus last night, lamb chops with sweet potato wedges and veggies. Tonight we even had steak!

So, the good news is that this morning, the day after finishing the Clean 9, I weighed 12st 8.75lb, meaning I have lost a grand total of 8.75lbs. And I feel great! My measurements are amazing too, as I have lost inches all over:

Upper arms have gone from 35.5cm to 31cm

Waist has gone from 96cm to 90cm

Hips have gone from 109cm to 105cm

Top of my thighs have gone from 70cm to 65cm

So, to say I'm happy is an understatement! I am determined to maintain and improve upon this, so I am going to be continuing with my daily walk and will replace lunch with a shake when I'm at work. I'll never look at food without considering how many of my 1420 calories per day they are worth. If I don't feel they're worth it, I won't eat it! I'm actually enjoying fruit teas, and may be converted long-term.

Anyhoo, if you're at all interested in doing the Clean 9 for yourself, please contact my friend Dev at Forever Living. www.innerpure.myforever.biz/store

Clean 9 days 5-6

After the buzz of the first few days of this detox, I'm actually feeling a little deflated. Don't get me wrong, I feel slimmer, am less hungry, and have totally forgotten what a snack is! But my weight is staying the same... 

Having two shakes and a 600 calorie meal for my entire food intake must surely contribute to weight loss, mustn't it? I feel ENTITLED to lose weight - I've earned this, surely? It's hard to give myself any credit for feeling a bit better, when what I was hoping for was steady, continued weightloss. 

What is making me feel worse (much worse) is that Scott started the Clean 9 on Saturday and hasn't lost an ounce (or an inch!) and is feeling really dejected. Those first two days are so tough, with zero food, just one shake, and huge amounts of foul-tasting aloe that I feel really bad that he hasn't lost any weight. He has been doing the recommended daily exercise and isn't cheating, so I would have hoped for at least a few pounds off, purely because he's not drinking, not eating crap, and is missing two whole frickin meals a day! 

All I can hope is that when the nine days are up we can continue eating healthily, as the temptation will be to "reward" ourselves. I've downloaded "My Fitness Pal" to help calculate meal calories, and will continue to use that. I still have three days to go (Scott has 6) so we'll report back in a few days, but I could really do with a cup of tea and a cake. Fruit teas are not quite as exciting as a good glass of vino, but they'll have to do... For now...

Clean 9 days 3-4 - eating actual food!

So, days one and two went by fairly smoothly. Withdrawal headaches aside, I've noticed no side-effects other than needing to go to the loo more often, but with the amount of water I'm drinking, I'm not surprised! 

I weighed myself day one and my starting weight was a frighteningly high 13st3.5. I took measurements of my waist, wip, bust, thigh and upper arm, plus Scott took photos from front, side and back. I haven't seen the photos yet, but may share them if I'm feeling very brave on day 9/10. 

So yesterday was the start of phase two. For the remaining 7 days I have the same pattern each day - breakfast; 2 Garcinia tablets, 20 mins before 120ml of Aloe, lots of water and a chocolate milkshake meal replacement, made with 300ml skimmed milk and one scoop of chocolate Forever Ultra Light. Mid morning snack is two bee pollen tablets and more water. Lunch is the same as breakfast. Dinner is where it gets exciting (for me, anyway). I can have a 600calorie meal!!! Yes, actual food!!!

Dinner last night was halfway between a stir fry and a paella - brown rice, diced chicken, peppers, tender stem broccoli, spring onion and mushrooms with a little splash of olive oil and some chilli. Seriously, I don't think I've ever looked forward to brown rice so much! I even had some fresh cherries for pudding. I used "My fitness pal" for the calorie counting, and weighed everything. I was surprised at how full my bowl of food was, certainly not a small meal. 

My evening was plagued by another headache, and I didn't really get the amount of exercise I should have had, but I did take Flo to Frankie's Fun Factory in Romsey, avoiding the tempting coffees, snacks and meals, opting instead for bottled water. So all in all, a pretty successful day.

This morning, day four, Scott has started his Clean 9. I weighed myself today and I have lost 7.5lbs already. Incredible! I just hope I can maintain the healthy eating for us all once the programme finishes.

Anyway, there you have my first few days of detox. Let me know if you want any info :)

A year on... A stone on!! And a fresh start...

I've let things slide lately, and I am not proud of that fact. My weight has crept back to just over 13stone, and I've started to feel uncomfortable in some of my clothes. A telling sign is that I no longer wear button-up shirts. Ok, so not the cheeriest start to my blog post, but hey, things can improve, right?

A little over a week ago I was perusing the wonders of Facebook when a before and after pic caught my eye (and, perhaps more importantly, Scott's eye). It was of a young chap with, let's face it, a bit of a tummy. He was a similar build and shape to Scott, and, like Scott, had a gut. Not nice, but true. The "after" photo caught our attention, because the gut was noticeably smaller, and he looked far healthier. He had just gone through the "Clean 9" detox. An old school friend of mine is a distributor for the Forever Living company, suppliers of "Clean 9" so we asked for some prices for both of us. Now, it is not a cheap fix, easy-win solution, coming in at over £200 for the two of us, but we both felt very much as though we were stuck in a rut, with Scott going to the gym two or three times a week and me... not going to the gym at all. So we decided to give it a try. And at that price, we are not about to let each other fail.

Essentially, the "Clean 9" is a nine-day cleanse or detox, using a combination of Aloe Vera gel drinks, protein shakes and some supplements. Scott is at Sonisphere on Friday, so is starting his on Saturday, whereas I am off work for a week following our trip to Cornwall, so I have decided to start my cleanse today, so here it is...

Day One. Measurements have been recorded, "before" photos in a suitably matching underwear set have been taken, and instructions have been read through thoroughly. I have set myself some targets, most notably around some daily exercise. 

Flo has preschool today, so I have to get her ready before I start off my detox. First I take two Garcinia gel capsules. I really don't know what each thing specifically does, but these are duly swallowed with some chilled water. These are taken 20minutes before my first dose of Aloe Vera gel/juice, so I take Flo to preschool in the interim. I come home to drink 120ml of Aloe. Oh. My. Goodness! This stuff is vile! It is lumpy, gloopy and bitter-tasting, and after the third sip I am ready to throw it back up. Instead I gulp down half a litre of water until the foul stuff is gone. This had better be worth it. 

My mid-morning "snack" is a couple of "Bee Pollen" tablets. These are chewable, and taste like the worlds tiniest digestive, sweetened with honey rather than sugar. Not bad, but hardly a meal. 

Lunch is definitely the highlight of Day 1 as it involves a chocolate protein shake (Scott gets the vanilla). First I take two more Garcinia capsules, then another dose of Aloe. After that, the milkshake feels hard-earned, but is suitably tasty, if a little powdery. Could do with a dollop of ice cream ;)

I've yet to feel really hungry, so I head on through the afternoon with Flo, doing some crafty gem sticking, and make it through to her dinner time without any real hunger. I make some cheese and tomato pasta for her, resisting the urge to do a bit extra for me, and prepare for my penultimate shot of Aloe, this time with Garcinia before and Bee Pollen after.

I head out for a short bike ride, as daily exercise is part of the plan. Arguably, going from a largely sedentary lifestyle to one with some exercise is going to help my fitness even without the detox, but looking at the bigger picture here, if I can do this for nine days, it will feel more like a habit than a chore by the end, and should therefore be easier to maintain. 

One final shot of Aloe before bed sees the end of day one. I will confess to using some Robinsons Squash'd to make the last two doses of Aloe more palatable, but purely because the leaflet in the Forever Living box says it's ok to add cordial or fruit juice. The difference is remarkable, and I didn't even gag on the last one :) 

So here we are. I'm in bed at the end of day one with a bit of a headache, but a glass of water by my bedside rather than my usual squash. Tomorrow is going to be a good'un, I know it!

Day Two. Still a bit of a headache this morning, but I published day one of my blog to keep me motivated. Aloe Vera gel for breakfast, with another preschool drop-off set me up for the day. Much less inclined to "do stuff" today, so I finished watching Grimm on Netflix. Lazy, I know, but "me time" is a rarity. 

I was slightly daring today, and took my Aloe with me when I picked Flo up, as we were heading into Hythe to meet my brother Mike and his little girl Izzy. I decided to leave my shake until I got home... This ended up being 4pm! I still didn't feel particularly hungry, so my appetite must be changing.

One thing I've noticed with this programme is the effect on my attitude to food. I resent others eating, which is obviously not good. Scott made himself an omelette for dinner, and I loved hearing the sounds of good being prepared. I was very tempted by Flo's left-over pasta, more because I hate waste than because I actually wanted it. Thankfully Marmite stepped in and finished the lot, so temptation was gone.

This evening I have felt quite down. This is partly due to post-holiday blues, but largely down to missing the social side of eating. I'm so looking forward to sitting down for dinner with Flo tomorrow night. I will probably spend most of tomorrow planning my 600cal meal. 

Oh, and watching Masterchef is actually torture when you are on any diet, but more so when you are not eating at all!

I will end on some positives: weighed myself this morning, and have already lost 4lbs (and I know this is water, but water takes up space in my body, making clothes tighter, so I'm happy!). Still not hungry! Had a good walk around Hythe, feeling more energised. So excited about eating actual food tomorrow I might pee!

Eggs-ellent opportunity for a treat (or two)

Easter.

Not my favourite holiday of the year - way too much temptation around for my liking. With payday just before, a long weekend and a toddler in the house, there is a natural inclination to over-indulge. I had planned to decorate our spare room so that Flo could have the bigger bedroom. This is great from a weightwatchers perspective, as it involves lots of activity. Plus, with Mr C on shoots from Friday to Tuesday, I knew I'd be decorating alone. This suits me fine, as I am the world's worst control freak. If I had to watch Scott put up wallpaper, for example, I know that I would tut, criticise and ultimately take over, so it's probably best that he keeps away.

Flo is a funny child. She loves vegetables, meat, fruit, etc, but is really not interested in chocolate or sweets. Having four Easter eggs in the house in peril of going mouldy at any moment is a real test of my willpower. I am fine while they are in boxes, but once the egg is unwrapped I willingly and whole-heatedly succumb. I will hereby confess to having eaten about 2/3 of a cadbury's egg (ridiculous number of points due to the increased sugar content of Easter egg chocolate).

Another diet-wrecker I associate with DIY is the takeaway. Most weeks we have a takeaway after weight watchers (like tonight) but on a DIY Weekend (like on a fight night in a Vegas casino ) this can double or treble. So yes, I ordered takeaway pizza Friday night. One positive is that I only ordered a medium each for Scott and myself (old me would have ordered a large) and I ate 2/3 of the pizza, leaving the rest for a cold lunch the next day. Oh, and the good people at Dominos saved me a few calories by omitting the chicken, leaving me with a pepper, sweet chilli and mushroom pizza. Yum. Ish.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that I really deserved to put on weight this week. Oh, and did I mention mum's bank holiday Monday tea, with sandwiches, pizza, quiche, cake and nibbles. So, it is with a large amount of shock, glee and, dare I say, guilt, that I have lost another 1.5lbs. I know, ridiculous, eh?

So far my weightloss now stands at 34.5lb, nearly 2 and a half stone! I weighed in this evening at 12st 3.5lb. I served one of my former teaching assistants at work today, and she remarked at how much weight I've lost. I still can't really see it, but I enjoy the comments at least :)

That's it for another week. Thanks all! Night night!

15% off, and finding my weight loss mojo!

Sorry for the radio silence. I had a couple of weeks of "maintaining" which is a cop-out way of saying I didn't lose any weight. Somehow the sunshine and promise of spring have inspired me, spurred me on, whatever you want to call it, and my approach is way more positive now. This week I managed to lose another 2lbs, bringing my total weight loss to 2st 4.5lb, more than 15% of my original weight!

The past couple of weeks have seen some pretty harsh reality checks for friends and family. The one most relevant to my journey is that of a friend who had become slightly complacent with her diet. Without naming names, she has lost a huge amount of weight, and in the same way that I shrug and say "it won't hurt if I have this as long as I behave better tomorrow" she lost focus and put on weight. Seeing the pain and sorrow on her face last week at the meeting highlighted for me the fact that I will never be able to go back to my old habits.

Don't get me wrong, I don't WANT to be the first in the queue for the food at every party anymore, returning two or three times for refills. I don't NEED to drink the whole bottle of wine when a glass will do. And believe me, I don't want to look back in three years time and say, "do you remember when I lost all that weight?" I even justified putting weight back on saying I had looked "ill" when I was a perfectly healthy size 12, ignoring the fact that in the particular photo I look back at I was suffering a nasty flu bug and actually WAS ill. It had nothing to do with my size.

In other news, I have bought myself a skipping rope on the recommendation of one of the guys at work. It is great, because I can skip for free out in the garden. I will be getting the push bike back on the road in the coming weeks too, in an effort to tone up the wobbly bits.

Oh, and if any of you catch me lying to myself about looking ill, please feel free to reference this blog and wallop me one on my still healthy-sized, in no way ill-looking backside.

Hurrah! No longer "obese"!

There are several ways of monitoring weight, health etc. One that you hear mentioned often is BMI, or Body Mass Index. While not 100% accurate in terms of assessing fitness etc, it is a good guide to healthy weight. When I started on my weightloss journey my BMI was around 33, or Stage 1 Obesity. Not good. Having lost another 3lbs this week I thought I'd look at my journey so far in terms of BMI, weight and measurement.

Ok, so here are the figures. My BMI has gone from 33 down to 28.8, so now in the "overweight" rather than "obese" band. My weight has gone from 14st 10lb down to 12st 7.5lb, a whopping 30.5lbs off! Now for the really weird bit; my measurements. My arms are 6cm smaller on the bicep. My thighs are 7cm smaller. My bust is 8cm smaller (the one bit I'd happily have maintained given a choice!). My hips are 10cm smaller, so 4inches. Finally, and most shockingly of all, my waist is 18cm smaller! That's more than 7inches!

I'm not going to say any more, other than thank you all for reading this. It helps keep me motivated when you all comment and chivvy me along, and your support means so much to me. Thank you all x

Two stones lighter!

It's official! I have now lost two whole stone! Yes, now I am at 12st 10.5lb. I still have another stone or so to lose, but bloody hell, I'm proud of myself! I've been back to making healthy soups, which are a life saver on cold days. Flo even asked to take some to nanny's this week for her lunch, so they must taste good too!

Center Parcs last week could have been disastrous for my weight as there are lots of lovely places to eat and drink. Somehow with all the walking, swimming and spa time I managed to stay motivated enough to make healthier choices. One evening I even shared a pudding with my husband (trust me, this is not something the old me would have contemplated; it would have been more of a "are you finished with that?" before swiping a half-finished pud from him after already finishing my own).

Shopping news now, and this week sees the purchase of a pair of size 14 jeggings from M&S. think leggings crossed with jeans. I went for the tougher, standard fly-fastening sort rather than the tempting but potentially problematic elasticated waist ones. I worry that I would happily munch my way through a Henry VIII size banquet in my too-comfortable waistband and not realise that I had put on the whole two stone in the course of one meal! Lol! So fixed waistbands are a must.

I've also been more adventurous with my footwear, and have been seen teetering about on some rather gorgeous 4" heels with my skinny jeans. Can I just use that word again? Skinny. Ooh, I love it! I know I'm not even close to being skinny, but the fact that an item of clothing which had heretofore been a definite no-no in my clothing repertoire is now not only accessible, but actually pretty comfy too, is flipping brilliant.

In true Jeanie style, I am of course going to celebrate my milestone with a yummy curry. We have kept takeaways as part of our diet because I don't want to live feeling I can't enjoy something naughty occasionally, and certainly don't want to reach my goal weight, eat a curry and put on half a stone. That is not going to be me. In the meantime, I'm off to put on my elasticated trousers for an evening of gluttony, DVDs and perhaps a teensy glass of vino.

Some very rare time off...

Sorry for the lack of recent posts; I've simply been far too busy and important, lol! Weight wise I put on a pound and a half over the past couple of weeks, but still seem to be getting smaller, so I'm not complaining. Currently weighing around 12st 12lb, so still 22.5lb lighter than in September.

The reasons for posting on a Saturday rather than my customary Wednesday are three-fold... 1, we've been away for a few days at Center Parcs, 2, I was lucky enough to go to Joe Black's House of Burlesque at the Kings Theatre, Southsea yesterday, and 3, Flo stayed at her nanny's last night so I am able to type unhindered prior to collecting her at 12.

So, a midweek break at Center Parcs in January may not sound like much, but it is a holiday I look forward to every year. This year we stayed in a 3-bedroom executive lodge with Mike, Tammy and Izzy, my brother, sister-in-law and niece, and had a wonderfully relaxing time. The rain didn't stop us enjoying ourselves, and we even managed a morning at the Aqua Sana spa while Flo went to a colourful creations class. We ate lots, walked loads, and laughed till we cried (if you haven't played "Cards against humanity" and have a sick/twisted nature, I suggest you put it on your shopping list!)

On our final afternoon at CP we took Flo for a splash about at the sub tropical swimming paradise, where she usually clings to one or other of our necks in spite of wearing a float suit, refuses to go on the toddler splash slide and generally gets cold rapidly and asks to leave. I'm not sure what happened to change this now-accepted state of affairs, but while we were in the indoor wave pool, Scott took a chance and managed to prise Flo's fingers from his neck, and let her go, knowing she would sort of float but would need to work a bit to do so. And Flo? She kicked her legs underwater, treading water brilliantly. She added some paddle hands and managed to propel herself, albeit slowly, to me! She continued to go from one of us to the other for at least twenty minutes, going farther each time. As a nervous swimmer myself I have to confess to shedding a tear or two (mercifully disguised by an over-enthusiastic splash by a passing child) as Flo even went back into the water for another go while the waves were in motion. Her confidence has really stunned me! A superb end to a holiday, I'm sure you'll agree.

Yesterday we returned home after the customary frantic morning of packing and eating left-overs. This was only a very fleeting visit, as we had planned for Flo to stay with mum for the day and overnight as we were off out again. This time, Scott and I would be heading to sunny Southsea for the spectacle known as The House of Burlesque. As most of you know, Scott is a photographer (and a mighty fine one too, I might add). Usually he shoots alone as he doesn't need an assistant, so I am pretty much redundant, and only get involved in the admin side of his work. Yesterday however I was very lucky and was allowed to tag along and arrived at the theatre before many of the performers. I headed into Southsea for a bit of a mooch, hoping to find the perfect skirt to go with my steampunk outfit for the evening. Turns out Southsea has precisely ONE charity shop, accompanied by perhaps half a dozen "vintage" outfitters. Basically the same skirt in the latter will cost £30 and still smell like your gran. I returned empty-handed.

I spent a fair amount of time in the Theatre kitchen meeting very friendly and heretofore unnamed performers and their partners whilst drinking coffee. Some people are effortlessly elegant and graceful, but never have I seen such a beautiful, pocket-sized bundle of energy as graceful as Rio. She is a belly dancer who combines this immensely watchable art form with burlesque, to stunning effect. I saw her perform five times during the day; twice in the technical rehearsal, twice more in the show itself, and once more in the curry house after the show!

Other incredibly funny, friendly and welcoming performers I met include Kitty Ribbons (a very naughty ballerina automaton), Heidi Bang Tidy and Crystal Tips (face-achingly funny burlesque double act), Kitty Klaw (who does things with the Union Jack that would make your mother blush), Josephine Shaker (with an amazing light-up tap dancing costume and shoes), Piff the Magic Dragon, Alfie Ordinary, Arran Shurvington (the kindest, most loveable young man in high heels ever!) and of course Joe Black, who was more relaxed than I've seen him before a show.

Needless to say, I had an amazing evening, made some wonderful new friends and had a few very kind compliments thrown my way by people who've not seen me in a while. My small corset fitted perfectly, I had to take 6 inches of fabric out of my steampunk coat I first wore in June, and my bosoms remained firmly ensconced in their steel-boned contraption. It was awesome to see Vie, Tyrone, Ruby, Daniel, Paula and Darren too. (We won't mention me falling off my 5-inch platform heels onto my considerably less-padded arse whilst trying to kick Darren up the bum). All in all a superb evening with fabulous people, topped up with probably the worst curry of my life with the best company (thank you Kirsty and James). Oh, and a lie-in today!

Back on track

Sometimes I feel like this diet is too good to be true. I ate out with Scott and Flo at the weekend (Bella Italian, yum!) plus we had a takeaway last week. I've had bolognese, roast pork, fresh garlic bread and more, and yet somehow I've lost all the weight I had put on over Christmas plus an extra pound, taking my total WW loss to 24.5lb and my unofficial loss to 27lb, just a pound shy of two stone!

I think my motivation levels are particularly high at the moment as I have bought new clothes with my Christmas money, and received some new clothes for Christmas too - all with a size 14 label. The jeans I bought shortly before Christmas are actually starting to get rather baggy already, so perhaps a size 12 isn't a million miles off?!?

I still don't see any difference when I look in the mirror, either facially or in my body shape, and yet I know I am smaller. I have no idea why this should be, though. I just notice my eyes when I look in the mirror, and my smile. After all, those are the only things that matter - window to the soul and all that jazz.

We are going to Center Parcs soon, and I am really looking forward to going swimming without feeling like a blimp, as I am fully two dress sizes than the last time I was there, and hopefully will be two stones lighter too.

Scott and I are also heading to the House of Burlesque show in Portsmouth in February, for a mixture of business and pleasure, so I'm hoping to wear my size 14 steel-boned corset for the first time ever. I've managed the 18 (whilst pregnant) and the 16 (whilst breast feeding, lol!) but have never quite managed to get into the smaller one. Just need to decide what to wear it over/under/with etc. Exciting stuff :)

Ooh, ah, just a little bit, ooh, ah, a little bit more!

Ok, so tonight was the big post-Christmas weigh-in. A moment of trepidation and downright terror for many of us. Of course there are always people who manage to hold it together at this time of year, but many more of us who, frankly, let it all go. I kind of sit in between these two positions. I fill up on veg still, but I'm not about to deny myself the treats associated with the season, in particular the cheese. Oh my, the cheese...

Disturbing my reverie briefly, I refer now to my blog post's title. I don't usually quote Gina G, but her lyric seemed most fitting. For me. And cheese. Oh my, the cheese...

My main issue at this time of year is the extra-lateness. Normally I go to bed between 11.30 and 12.30. When I don't need to be up early, and more to the point, when Scott doesn't have to be up early and isn't on a shoot, I'll happily stay up past 2. Not a major problem, until you remember that dinner is usually around 7, and the extra few hours means we get the late night munchies. Munchies and wine. I forgot to mention the wine...

Anyhow, to cut a long story short, I fully expected a hefty weight gain on the scales tonight, having weighed at the end of last week at nearly half a stone heavier than my last weigh-in. Clearly that shock to my system helped to focus me. My weight has gone up by 2.5lb, taking me back to 13st 0.5lb. I'm going to set my new target for this quarter to get to 12stone. With a holiday at the end of this month, this may yet be a struggle, but that is my goal. Thank you for sharing my journey so far, and here's to a little bit more of being a little bit less.

So long, 2012. Hello 2013!

It has been a strange couple of weeks since my last post. We've had Christmas, for one. Normally this is a time for celebration and togetherness, but this year I've felt very un-together. My brothers both live in Southampton, but one doesn't drive so it's hard to get them over here at the same time when there is no public transport. We saw them on Christmas Eve but there is nothing that beats a proper Christmas Day celebration. I am always left with feelings of guilt; could I have collected them all and brought them to mum's, should I have put aside my own wishes for a family day at home to go over there? In the end though, I know I have to do what is right for us, so Scott, Flo and I had our Christmas morning sauna and brunch followed by present unwrapping and then roast duck for lunch. I was feeling pretty lousy already with a cold, but the sauna seemed to help.

In the evening we walked to mum's with all our presents (I live just a couple of miles from my mum, so we get to drink too!). We arrived to find a rather somber room full of people not watching the carol concert on the tele. My gran was in a foul (and still unexplained) mood, and my dad was doing his best to wind everyone up. Flo and Izzy, my niece, soon livened things up, but I was very conscious of a worsening cold. In hindsight we should probably have stayed at home to avoid spreading our bugs to the family, but I had to weigh up the guilt of not going and the guilt of sharing my cold. Neither option was particularly appealing.

After much gift sharing, food scoffing and whiskey Mack guzzling, we made our merry way home with flo asleep in her pushchair. We've since had a sickness bug which affected just Flo and my dad (who is never sick) and the cold has progressed to my lungs as well as to my grandparents (which is the LAST thing I would have wanted). So the days between Christmas and new year have been fraught with guilt. I had to go to work on the Thursday Friday and Saturday as I am not yet entitled to sick pay, so I dragged myself in each day.

Work definitely warrants a mention in this review of 2012. I began the year having worked yet another Christmas in retail at M&S and was determined to change things before another Christmas hit us, so I applied for all sorts of non-retail jobs, particularly accountancy and bookkeeping ones. I wasn't contacted by a single employer until I finally bit the bullet and applied to a banking group. I had never considered a career in banking having worked at Skandia in the past, but having sailed through the online selection process I found myself with the prospect of working for a bank! Not only were they happy to take me on part time, but they also impressed upon me the chance of progression, even at part time hours.

Just what I needed after a career in which I'd been under constant scrutiny, constantly questioning my own ability and dreading the next surprise inspection. Teaching was not a career I could return to without some serious adjustments to my self-confidence and my work-life balance. And so here I am, a customer adviser for one of the country's biggest banking groups, thoroughly enjoying my job, getting on well with my colleagues and feeling like I can genuinely help people with their financial problems.

For so many of my friends 2012 has been an atrocious year, and yet I find myself looking back and thinking, wow! That was awesome! We have had our share of bad years, and have been through all kinds of financial difficulties, but this year we really got our shit together. I have been doing Scott's accounts for a few years now, and feel a bit like Yoko Ono at times when I try to control the artistic side of what he does too, but anyone who has seen his work progress this year will understand just how talented he is and how very proud I am to call him my husband. He has been published in lots of magazines this year, and is even being paid by some of them. He has worked with some incredible models and performers, and is more in demand than we could ever have anticipated. Hopefully with my support he can continue to expand his portfolio of clients and we'll start to see some real returns for his time and talent. So yes, 2012 has been really good for us, but there is no reason that 2013 can't be even better. In fact, I intend to do everything in my power to see that it is!

A review at the end of the year.

So here it is, the final weigh in of 2012.

2012 was a year in which I saw myself gradually eat my way into a size 18-20 in clothes, fairly unnoticeably. Yes, my clothes were no longer fitting, yes buttons were popping open on tops and blouses, and yes, a colleague kindly pointed out (in my previous job) that I needed to go up a size. The thing is, I didn't FEEL any different - that's the trouble with gradual weight gain - you don't realise the tiny changes that are building up.

In July I went on holiday to Cornwall - one of my favourite places, and somewhere I've always felt comfortable. I had a great time, don't get me wrong. It's just... the photos... When Scott uploaded the photos there were so many of me looking really solid around the middle, making me look OLD and just not looking like me. You'll notice that the photos I've tended to put up are of me from the shoulders up.

Goodwood in September was another time when I saw photos and thought, "I don't want to be like that anymore"... By this point I had already begun my weightwatchers journey, so I knew I was headed in the right direction, but any kind of "goal" seemed a long way off.

At the weekend, Scott, Flo and I went to London for the day - a very rare family day away from home. We did a few touristy bits (Natural History Museum, Hamleys, Carnaby Street) and took Flo on the underground for the first time (well, the second, but she was too tiny to remember the first). it was great to have the time out. I wore heeled boots all day, carried bags and toddlers and had lots of photos taken, and, wait for it, I FELT GREAT! I was wearing my slimmer size 14 jeans, my size 14 coat, and felt like I deserved to wear them. (You know how sometimes you can sneak into a smaller size due to the brand being over-generous, the stretch being more than adequate, or the cut being slightly irregular, but never actually feel like that's your size...)

The day after London I was poorly, but I recovered within 48 hours to be back full of energy and enthusiasm. My eating habits have changed, so my energy levels have improved, and my overall fitness is on the up. Walking is about all the exercise I'm doing at the moment, but I'll be cycling in the spring, so perhaps 2013 will be even better. Work is going great, Flo is flourishing at preschool, and Scott's photography business is coming on in leaps and bounds. Oh, and I lost another pound this week, taking me to 12st12lb - a total weight loss of 1st 12lb. Nearly 2stone!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!  See you on the other side!

No longer a baker's dozen!

It has been a week of "being good" food-wise. I've had the odd chocolate, the odd *cough* Toby Carvery, a teeny tiny takeaway and, oh yeah, a complete Finnish Christmas dinner! For the uninitiated, a Finnish Christmas dinner is a joy to behold, and a joy to consume - we had Christmas ham, herrings, smoked salmon, potato bake, swede bake, carrot bake, red cabbage, *covers Flo's ears* reindeer, mushroom pie, mushroom salad, beetroot and apple salad and COPIOUS amounts of red wine.

Throughout my time with Weightwatchers I've not felt like I was on a diet. I've cut down on the alcohol, stopped buying daily chocolate bars, stopped sitting with a bowl of kettle chips whilst watching a film, and just thought a little more about the choices I make on an hour-to-hour, day-to-day basis. I don't feel deprived, I don't stand out like a sore thumb when eating with friends and family (ie I don't have a huge plate of salad when I eat out) and I still keep losing weight. It really goes to show how just a few small changes can make all the difference.

Would I like to sit eating a big bar of Dairy Milk? Yes! Would I enjoy it at the time? Undoubtedly! Would I beat myself up afterwards for wasting a week's worth of bonus points on a moment of idiocy? Damn right! I know I can have a small amount of chocolate, enjoy it, and then carry on with my day guilt-free. Feeling guilty about food is so unhealthy, as you inevitably start to either resent the diet, resent the forbidden food, or worse, resent the people around you who are, perhaps unwittingly, tempting you to eat. Nobody forces me to eat chocolate, crisps or KFC - I choose to. I know I can balance my diet by easing off in other areas. That's just how it works for me.

So, here's the great bit of news for this week - I've lost 2.5lb this week, which brings my weight down to 12st 13lb - yes, that's right! I'm under 13stone! This was my goal by Christmas, so I feel I've really achieved something this week. My total weightloss is now 25lb (in-meeting is 22.5lb) which is the most I've ever lost with Weightwatchers. Before I got married I lost 21lb but that took me down to 10st 2lb and a size 12. This time I'm thinking I ought to aim for 11.5-12st which would be a loss of around 3stone.

Another really positive note for the week - I've bumped into a few people I know who I've not seen for a while, and they've noticed a change in me. For some it's purely a size thing, but others have noticed a greater vitality, and more of the "old" Jeanie back. This is a combination of the weight loss and my new job, both of which are giving me the confidence to face the world with a smile.

Once again, thank you all for your support and encouragement. Hopefully will have some photos for you soon x

You've got to... Accen...tuate the positive...

I'll get the negative out of the way straight off - I've put on half a pound this week (shock horror!) but I am totally putting it down to the fact that I wore jeans and hi-top trainers instead of my usual workwear to the weigh-in.

Ok. so, that aside, here are some awesome positives that are making me smile immensely this week:

• I bought myself my first pair of size 14 jeans since the year I got married (2000)
• The jeans fit me comfortably
• One of my friends at M&S (where I used to work) commented that the jeans I was wearing (my supposedly skinny size 16s) were too baggy on the bum and I needed some smaller ones (thank you Kait!) 
• I've had a good start to my working week
• Scott is being published in no less than 4 separate magazines this month
• Flo has been given her part in the preschool nativity, as a camel (rather than Mary, as she had told us!) 

So really, I can't grumble. I've had a really ordinary week food-wise. I've not even attempted to make a soup (definitely need to, as the carrot one I made last week is just not nice - too sweet). I've had a sneaky KFC with Flo, eaten out with the family, had more than a couple of evening drinks, plus more than two roast potatoes at the weekend. I've even eaten some Christmas chocolate. If that equates to putting on half a pound, I can definitely live with that.

Only two more weigh-ins before Christmas... Can I get to the elusive 13 stone mark? I'm certain I can, and I'll let you know next week how I get on. For now, though, I'm off to wrap some Chrimbo presents.

It's the final countdown! (diddle-ee-dee, diddle ee dee deee)

As the title suggests, we are in the final countdown of the year, so yes this post is about the run-up to Christmas, but sung in a very cheesy American karaoke voice with optional (compulsory?) air guitar...

Last week I did not blog. "Boo hiss!" I hear you cry... Well, I was feeling pretty let down (by myself) as I put on a pound last week. A well-earned pound, but a pound all the same. I knew it before getting on the scales, and short of turning up to Weightwatchers in a bikini and flip flops, nothing was going to tell the scales otherwise. And yes, before you ask, I HAD shaved my legs and cut my toenails - all to no avail! So no, I didn't blog, and yes, I did feel guilty about it all week.

Failure at the scales did not affect my mood, however, and I had a stonkingly good week at work, hit the shops at the weekend (being paid does make that a better experience!) and did still more Christmas shopping yesterday. I've even started wrapping (yes, wrapping) in November - ME! I've bought lovely crafty bits for Flo and I to make - going for full-on Kirsty Allsop status this year. I bought real meat from a real butchers, and have been eating sensibly, even going for the jacket potato with tuna yesterday rather than the all day breakfast (which was definitely calling to me with its cholesterol-laden voice).

You will, then, forgive me for being rather smug tonight. As not only did I lose the pound I'd put on last week, but an extra 2lb into the bargain, taking my weight to 13st 1lb. I'm nearly there!!! I've officially lost 10% of my body weight based on my WW start weight, which is an official 20.5lb. With the extra 2.5lb I lost between first getting on mum's scales and my first weigh-in, that's 23lb. One and a half stone (and a bit)!!! Tonight I received my 10% keyring at the meeting, and it made me feel even more motivated to keep this going.

Did I mention going shopping? Ooh, yes... shopping when you're losing weight - herein lies the problem. Do you buy clothes as you lose weight (because everything's getting a bit baggy and shapeless) or do you wait it out, see if you can drop another dress size? I'm split on this. I bought a size 16 coat early on in the autumn, and it was a snug but not tight fit. Seeing my reflection whilst wearing it the other day I felt (and looked) older than I am. Much older. Scott reckons it would be better if I put the fake fur hood trim back on, but the shapeless nature of the coat will never make me feel anything other than frumpy in it. Yesterday I found the solution - a gorgeous navy blue (work colour!) fitted hip-length duffle coat with furry hood trim and twiddly toggles. I loved it immediately, bought it as an early Christmas present to myself, and have since shown anyone who'll listen (and many who won't) that it is a size 14! Yippeeeeeeeeeee!

Definitely one of my smuggest blogs yet, but, hell, I think I deserve it! *smug face*

Yet again, thanks for the awesome support, the encouraging comments, and the recipe requests - it makes this process seem even easier knowing you're all behind me :D

Not feeling 100%

I'm not feeling 100% today. D'ya wanna know why? Do ya? It's because I've lost 10% of my body weight, so I'm now only 90% of the old me!!!! Wahoooooooooooooo!

Can you tell I'm pleased? I've now lost a stone and a half, and losing 10% of your bodyweight if you're obese (as I am) gives many health benefits, for example reduced cholesterol, improved blood pressure, less chance of having type 2 diabetes and more. I lost 1.5lb this week, taking me to 13st 3lb. 13st by Christmas doesn't look too difficult now... maybe even by the first week of December!

I didn't look at my BMI (Body Mass Index) when I started, but have calculated it now. When I started the WW plan 72 days ago my BMI was 34.2, so I was well and truly in the OBESE category. Now my BMI is 30.7, so I am edging closer to being just "overweight".

I'm going to put my success this week down to eating the sort of food that I love in quantities I never would have been content with. Many of you who are friends with me on Facebook will have read POTATOGATE. For those of you who are not, here it is... "Dinner tonight was roast chicken, roast potatoes, cauliflower and carrots. Due to my weight watching, I went for masses of veg, one chicken breast and just one, very crisp, perfectly formed roast potato. This is my treat, you see. I don't resent this, it's how I choose to make my diet work for me. What I DO resent is saving my ONE potato till near the end of the meal, at which point a certain small person looks longingly at the potato, then lovingly at me to say, "Mummy, can I have just one more potato? Please?" before swiping said potato off my plate with her fork."

I can easily give up roast potatoes in the sort of quantities I used to eat - easily 6-8 potatoes with my roast - but to lose my only potato right at the end of my meal did make me irrationally upset. I made a chocolate and ginger cheesecake at the weekend to eat with friends after dinner (my friend Steve cooked a wonderful chicken casserole with buttery mash and greens). I had a small slice (and may actually calculate the entire recipe in terms of points if I ever make it again) and loved the indulgence of it, the naughtiness of it, and the fact I had 4 days to reign it all back in again in time for my weigh-in. That for me is key - I can indulge, as long as I then get back on track.

My other way of coping with "the diet" is by making soups. I am currently working my way through a batch of zero point vegetable soup - ingredients below. One of my colleagues at work commented today that the soup smelled of "farts". Lovely! And I won't deny, there are some breezy side-effects associated with eating so many vegetables... but if I eat a lovely tasty soup with zero points for lunch, I can then eat a normal dinner with my family, side effects or no. 

Once again, I thank you all for your comments, messages and support. Only a few more weeks until Christmas, so maybe I'll get a photoshoot with my lovely man then... 

Warming cabbage soup
Half a white cabbage, shredded
One butternut squash, diced
3 large carrots, diced
1 yellow pepper, diced
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
1 onion
1tsp oil
1 tablespoon of flour
1 chicken stock cube in 3 pints of water
Paprika
Coriander (ground and leaf)
Black pepper

Fry onion in oil. Remove from heat, then stir in flour. Add stock gradually, stirring to make a roux sauce (but without the milk). When all the stock is combined, return to the heat, add vegetables and stir until you reach boiling point, then leave to simmer until all vegetables are soft. Add spices to taste (I used about 1tsp of paprika, 1/2 tsp of each type of coriander and a good pinch of black pepper. Keep tasting until you're happy with it. Nutmeg works well with this soup - just use what you have.

Eating out, Eating in, Eating Everywhere!

Ok, hands up who noticed I didn't blog last week? Or were you (like me) too busy thinking of the poor little mites dressed in skimpy little Halloween costumes, dishing out sweeties to the ones who braved the cold snap and rain and then polishing off the leftovers... not that I did that... much...

I have to admit, I love the autumn - it's a time of year where it's acceptable to dress from head-to-toe in snuggly knitwear, to spend time indoors baking, and to eat delicious hearty soups. Put another way, it's a time when you are more likely to catch a glimpse in a shop window or store mirror whilst wearing said knitwear, plus a huge coat, scarf and hat, and think, "My word, I look big!" It pays to remember that underneath all those layers there is a very different shape, and that everyone else (if they're sensible) is equally wrapped-up and couldn't care less how lumpy you feel. The baking thing, though, can get dangerous. I've found myself baking more biscuits (which I have to eat whilst warm, of course) and this week I've made a huge batch of chutney. Not eating it all is a challenge, so I'm giving things away - it's the cooking I enjoy, not the extra weight when I eat it.

I've had a few "challenging" days in the past fortnight. Days in which, had I let myself, I could have EASILY eaten a full week's worth of points in one meal.

My colleagues and I went out for a Chinese meal last week, all paid for by the company. This in itself is risky - you mean, I can eat what I like and don't have to pay? *Claps hands in delight!* I will at this point admit that the starter platters were very tempting, but my appetite is thankfully less than it once was, and I stuck with the non-battered dishes (mostly) and far fewer items overall. When the crispy duck with Hoi Sin and pancakes came round I asked if I could have hot and sour soup. Not a problem. And boy, was I relieved this evening when I asked my WW leader about my choice - duck pancakes work out at 9points each, and you can easily eat 3 or 4. Hot and sour soup - 4points! Winner!

A good friend of ours came round for a curry just two days after the Chinese meal, and I'm afraid I just had my usual curry, rice, popadoms and naan bread... so I really deserved to put on weight - surely? Well, considering the Chinese was taken up by one week's bonus points, and the Indian meal used the following week's bonus points, I just ate sensibly the rest of the week, bulking up on veg and fruit, keeping alcohol to a minimum and just taking it easy.

Imagine my surprise (and joy!) to find this week that I've lost another 3lbs. This takes my total weight loss to 19.5lb - 1st 5.5lb (official WW loss is 17lb - 1st 3lb). Not bad for 9 weeks. At this rate I should get to my 13st target by Christmas - only 5 more weigh-ins to go and only 4.5lb to lose!

Right, that'll do for now - thanks for the support everyone, and fellow Weight Watchers - hang in there!

Finger lickin' good! (or bad?)

After last week's telling off at Weight Watchers I could easily have gone either way - I could have become the militant, hardcore Weight Watcher, always with a 1point snack at the ready should temptation come my way, constantly munching on fruit and turning my nose up at the slightest whiff of vino or, dare I say it, cake... or I could become the "hang-it-all, I'm quitting" type, having a major binge whilst blowing raspberries and sticking my fingers up at my tracker...

Not me! I focused on making lovely home-made soups, bulking up on vegetables and choosing leaner cuts of meat and fish. My salmon and vegetable soup last week saw me through a couple of work lunches, then I opted for freshly-made sandwiches with simple fillings from the convenience store up the road.

At the weekend I took Flo to Southampton. This, in itself, is not a major event, granted, but it could have turned into a foodfest easily! The thing with it being just the two of us for a change, is that there is less pressure (perceived or otherwise) to eat crap. We walked from our home to the ferry (about a mile), took the little train up the pier, then the ferry across the water to Town Quay, where we picked up a free bus to take us to West Quay. Perfect! In true "ladies that lunch" style, we went to Marks and Spencer for a pot of tea and a babycino. We had no cake as we had eaten lunch before we left (Strike one to Jeanie!). After a bit of window shopping and picking up a few basics, we went to Asda and chose a quick snack - cooked chicken skewers (only 1 point per 2 skewers) and some fruit, then headed home. So no MacDonalds, no Pizza Hut, and no oh-so-sneaky Fat Jackets (they sound as though they should be healthy, but you really don't want to know!).

That's half of the week done, easy peasy! Throw into the equation a family birthday party on Sunday, though, and you can start to panic... it's days like Sunday that I'm glad I don't dip into my bonus points on a regular basis. I had a biscuit (that I'd made, I might add), some nachos, dips, chilli with rice, CHOCOLATE CAKE and other nibbles. This I could probably get away with on any good week. This week, though, I took my parents home after the party, around 6.30-7pm, driving past a MacDonalds and KFC. When I say driving past, I actually mean, driving into and ordering an eat-in family bucket with extra crispy strips. My part in this calamity cost me 20 points. Maybe 25 with the popcorn chicken of doom I accidentally "helped" Flo with.

Monday I did a big weekly shop, stocking up on fresh fruit and veg. This makes my life SO much easier from a diet perspective, as most fruit and veg are "free" on WW, so I tend to fill 3/4 of my plate with veg, with small amounts of meat and potato. Sounds dull, but I love veg, and I don't feel at all deprived.

Enough of that! I shouldn't polish my halo TOO much - I've been less than angelic food-wise. Tell that to the scales, though, because today I weighed in 3.5lb LESS than last week! This takes my overall weight loss to 1st 2.5lb, and my WW weight loss to 1stone exactly. I reckon I can lose another half stone at least by Christmas, so here is my pledge - to weigh 12stone-something by my final weigh-in on 19th December. I know I can do it, with or with out Colonel Sanders!

Yet again, thank you all so much for the support - I love your comments after my posts :D